The Gods Smile and Piss on the Heroes

Not-So-Divine Intervention

Faced with a plate activated pillar trap in one direction and slightly roasted orcs in the other, the heroes have to quickly figure out which way they wish to continue. Jeric, taking matters into his own hands, decides to jump the gap and narrowly makes it. On Jeric’s first attempt to help another person across, Ralg jumps and Jeric nearly kills the Necromancer in the trying. This happens to the chagrin of the Gods (Jonathan) who had a lot of plans for the Necromancer. Thankfully for Ralg, and the Gods, the Necromancer makes the jump DESPITE Jeric’s help. Sigfried makes it across easily making it look easy. Alex’s Familiar clears the jump with all the grace you’d expect from a cat. An Orc appears and threatens the heroes with javelins while they continue to try and jump the now-congested gap. Niven makes the gap in his very charming fashion so well that he sticks the landing and even the representative from the Soviet Union gives him a 10. Alex, expertly trading places with his Familiar, also makes it through; all while the Orcs continue to put pressure on the heroes. The Cleric was not feeling great about his jump and almost fell onto the pressure plate. But by some miracle of Light and Jeric’s help he is able to clear the gap. The heroes have vanquished the trap demon.

The heroes find a storage area of weapons, chests, and armor. There are purple robes, clubs, sets of armor, daggers, and plenty of other armor amenities. The Orcs, unaware of the dangers of the pillar trap step onto it, crushing the first Orc in a horribly gruesome fashion. As the heroes meet up with Alex he is able to create a silent illusion making it seem like the heroes have additionally cleared a spiked filled pit, thus making the Orcs stop their pursuit. In the armory, the heroes plunder through most of the items, trying to find anything useful to aid them later in the ziggurat.

Sigfried opens the next door to find Otto in a sort of demonic dojo. The Ranger instantly readies a fire arrow and lets it fly…right into his foot. The heroes ready themselves for battle while Sigfried flies into battle to engage Otto. Taran also enters the room, but as he does Otto summons two fire elementals. Sigfried fueled by his best friends, rage and destruction, mutilates Otto before anyone else can even reach him. One of the fire elementals takes a wide swing at Santos and, over stepping his strike, falls down the giant chimney pit causing huge alarm to whoever might be at the bottom. The second elemental strangely dissipates leaving the heroes to go back to the armory and try to open some of the locked chests. Taran finally divulges to Santos that he has been placed under a Geas spell which compels him to follow and protect Santos. Even more disconcerting is the caster of the spell is suspected to be Archbishop Ruger, Leader of the Church of Light.

The heroes finally break into all the chests; this after most of the more brawny heroes tried to break them open. Santos simply melted the locks revealing some mighty fantastic loot. The heroes decided to push on. After being shot with a poisonous dart, the heroes discover a room that is covered caked blood, filled with magic tomes and a writing desk (although no raven). They find a book with demonic language in it as well as a secret room that holds the bones of what seems to be several children. Sigfried is sickened by the sight, which is a surprise since he is usually quite blood-thirsty. The heroes decide there is nothing more they can learn from these atrocities and begin to head back the way they came only to encounter Orcs in the Armory.

The Ranger informs the group politely (and with a good sense of tactics) to spare at least one of the Orcs to interrogate. Alex decides that sounds stupid and melts their faces off. The group continues and Sigfried is able to silently dispatch two guards. The heroes don some of the robes they found in the Armory; and lucky they did because they walk into the next room filled with many people in the very same robes. They seem to be involving themselves in some kind of strange ritual in a giant room with a pentagram on the floor. Ralg animated the corpses of the dead guards and Santos immediately attempts to turn the skeletons. Suddenly there is a piercing tone in everyone’s ears and when they come to, many of the party is bleeding from the nose, although their bodies themselves are restored.

Sigfried decides to take it upon himself to enter the chamber and kill the practitioners. Santos attempts to stop him but through some power Sigfried is able to break free. Santos goes after Sigfried, Taran goes after Santos, and Jeric goes after Taran; thus creating a conga line of doom. Alex, Niven and Ralg follow suit and move into the chamber. The Head Cultist notices Sigfried and the party entering the chamber and with a confusingly vague cry yells INTERLOPERS!!!” With the fury we have expected from the Ranger he pulls a fire arrow once again and is WAY off target, hitting one of the floating orbs which shatters and flies back at him, hurting him. The battle ensues with the Gods (The DM) looking down in disbelief as the Heroes use all their worldly knowledge and spells, deftly warding off every attack the cultists could throw at them. The heroes, in fact, laughed in the face of the Gods, thus bringing about the rage of the Gods and a massive Blood Golem appears. While most of the heroes take care of the cultists, Jeric decides to take on the Blood Golem himself. Jeric then also figures out how the orbs in the room have been healing the cultists and decides to start destroying those too.



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